This was not the plan. I just wanted the patio cleaned. That’s it. One job. A simple “get rid of the slippery green stuff before someone breaks their neck” situation.

So I booked patio cleaning Northwich through Clearview Cheshire. They showed up, blasted the patio clean, and I was like: “Oh wow. That’s… suspiciously satisfying.”

Then I made the mistake of turning around and seeing the driveway. And suddenly the moss patches, oil stains, and general sad energy couldn’t be ignored. So yeah — added driveway cleaning Northwich to the list. And yes, I now wave at the driveway like it’s a new family member.

And the windows? Don’t get me started. They’d developed this film of grime that somehow only revealed itself once everything else got cleaned. Classic betrayal. So we added window cleaning Northwich to the chaos. I forgot how nice sunlight looks when it’s not being filtered through six months of dirt.

And THEN. Someone (me) thought it would be a good idea to get the garden paths done too. Because once you start pressure washing one thing, it’s impossible to stop. It’s like grown-up power washing ASMR. So we had the team do pressure washing Northwich and let me tell you — I was emotionally unprepared for how satisfying that would be.

But wait! There’s more.

Just as I was about to call it a day, I looked up at the roof. Big mistake. It was basically a moss-covered hat at that point. So obviously, we finished the marathon with roof cleaning Northwich. They handled it like pros — no damage, no drama, just moss flying off and a very smug-looking roof underneath.

So yeah. I went from “just the patio” to full-blown exterior cleaning Northwich in under 48 hours. My house is now so clean the neighbours think we’re putting it on the market. We’re not — I just got carried away and now everything’s aggressively presentable.

The Clearview team? Legends. Didn’t flinch as I kept adding stuff to the list. No judgement. Just hoses, ladders, and supernatural levels of patience.

Would I do it again? Absolutely. Would I plan it better next time? Definitely not.

Anyway, I’m off to stand in the garden and admire my outrageously clean windows like a Victorian ghost seeing sunlight for the first time.

10/10. Highly recommend losing control of your weekend in this exact way.